O Shenandoah! Webbed Woes for April/May/June duck





Excerpts from Taped Interviews:


June 21 --

You haven't written much this week. Are you ill?
Ghkjhnjfs. A longtime buddy has been visiting. Please go away .... Read this.
Okay. "On emerging from my computer room recently,..."
To yourself.
Uh-huh.
"On emerging from my computer room recently, I discovered a strange man in my house who claimed to be my husband. He looked hungry, so I fed him. Digging through the dust that I believe was a livingroom, I uncovered a warm furry thing. It claimed to be my cat and looked hungry, so I fed it. As I waded through the weeds to check our snailmail, a bunch of feathery stuff, claiming to be my chickens, pecked angrily at my ankles. They looked hungry. I fed them. A woman showed up with food. I kissed her. We drank to husbands. We drank to cats. We drank to chickens. We drank to food, to friendship, to 'puters and peepers and midnight reapers. A man claiming to be my husband came in and said we looked hungry. He fed us.

When I've replenished my body's depleted store of Vitamin C, I expect to feel fantastic, write wondrously and be able to say that without tripping on my tongue...."

Say no more.
Oh, good.
Bye.
mrhlpwy.

Hey!
shshshshshhhhhhhhh
sorry. who's that guy with a vacuum cleaner wearing dress shoes and no socks?
Strange, ain't he?

Pictures of the editor
at work -- me1

me2 -- installing new software




June 5 --

Born?
Yes, they say so. Sometimes you just gotta trust people on stuff.
Where?
the City of the Angels, left of the fault line.
Raised?
Sort of. I don't walk on water or anything.
Education?
Continual. Exhaustive.
College?
BU, ETSU, VCU
Wow, you must have a lot of degrees.
Nope. Just one.
Occupation?
Well, I try to keep my computer from crashing.
Do you work?
Constantly. See above.
What have you accomplished?
I've learned to make transparent gifts.
Gifs?
mmm-mm
Favorite quote?
"REALITY.SYS not found. Universe halted."
Any others?
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
You seem a bit grumpy. Are you having a bad techno-day?
Possibly
What's that?
What?
There. On the disk.
Jeez. It's another piece of that app I was installing. Blew up and splattered to bits all over the place.
Do you ever talk to your computer?
uh-uh. Caps Lock hit me in the fist once. A couple of times the monitor landed on my forehead. I don't say a word.
Do you talk to yourself?
Absolutely not.
By the way, what's your degree in?
Psych. Psych's been very good to me. For me.
Are you ever serious?
In my dreams, I'm a plumber. That's serious stuff.
Thank you for your time.
You're welcome.



Midi music file, "Help Me Make It Through The Night" by Chris Christophersen


Where the heck am I? -- Whisk me away

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Email countryrag@yahoo.com.


Original material O Shenandoah! Country Rag April, 1996. All rights reserved.