O Shenandoah! Webbed Woes for April/May/June
Excerpts from Taped Interviews:
June 21 --
- You haven't written much this week. Are you ill?
- Ghkjhnjfs. A longtime buddy has been visiting. Please go away .... Read this.
- Okay. "On emerging from my computer room recently,..."
- To yourself.
"On emerging from my computer room recently, I discovered a strange man in my house who claimed to be my husband. He looked hungry, so I fed him. Digging through the dust that I believe was a livingroom, I uncovered a warm furry thing. It claimed to be my cat and looked hungry, so I fed it. As I waded through the weeds to check our snailmail, a bunch of feathery stuff, claiming to be my chickens, pecked angrily at my ankles. They looked hungry. I fed them. A woman showed up with food. I kissed her. We drank to husbands. We drank to cats. We drank to chickens. We drank to food, to friendship, to 'puters and peepers and midnight reapers. A man claiming to be my husband came in and said we looked hungry. He fed us.
When I've replenished my body's depleted store of Vitamin C, I expect to
feel fantastic, write wondrously and be able to say that without tripping on
- Say no more.
- Oh, good.
- sorry. who's that guy with a vacuum cleaner wearing dress shoes and no socks?
- Strange, ain't he?
Pictures of the editor
at work --
-- installing new software
June 5 --
- Yes, they say so. Sometimes you just gotta trust people on stuff.
- the City of the Angels, left of the fault line.
- Sort of. I don't walk on water or anything.
- Continual. Exhaustive.
- BU, ETSU, VCU
- Wow, you must have a lot of degrees.
- Nope. Just one.
- Well, I try to keep my computer from crashing.
- Do you work?
- Constantly. See above.
- What have you accomplished?
- I've learned to make transparent gifts.
- Favorite quote?
- "REALITY.SYS not found. Universe halted."
- Any others?
- "As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
- You seem a bit grumpy. Are you having a bad techno-day?
- What's that?
- There. On the disk.
- Jeez. It's another piece of that app I was installing. Blew up and splattered to bits all over the place.
- Do you ever talk to your computer?
- uh-uh. Caps Lock hit me in the fist once. A couple of times the monitor landed on my forehead. I don't say a word.
- Do you talk to yourself?
- Absolutely not.
- By the way, what's your degree in?
- Psych. Psych's been very good to me. For me.
- Are you ever serious?
- In my dreams, I'm a plumber. That's serious stuff.
- Thank you for your time.
- You're welcome.
Midi music file, "Help Me Make It Through The Night" by Chris Christophersen
Where the heck am I? --
Whisk me away
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Original material © O Shenandoah! Country Rag April, 1996. All rights reserved.