A Country Rag
"The Imperial Wiz and 1268 Characters In Search Of A Plot"
upcoming SNL skit: hrc is dressed in a downstairs maid outfit with white apron and cap. The Master and Mistress of the house are opening closets and drawers in a chaotic confusion of jumbled objects.
They call out in unison, "We finally found the argyles in the silver drawer!" and, "Hillary, where did you stash the cashmere scarves? Winter's coming and we need them NOW." The maid looks at her feet and shuffles them while she moans, "I don't kno-owww. I don't know cashmere from sand-smear. I'm not a textile expert, y'know."
Hillary pouts and produces a big dripping tear. A passing guest holds up a wool hat, cheerfully announcing,"I found this in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Will it help?" A voice from the kitchen shouts, "There are knitted mittens in the oven!"
Hillary sniffles, "I just wanted to keep them warm for you, all." She straightens up to her full six feet and looks down, frowning with impatience, as her cap falls off onto her employers' heads. "You'll understand later why things are as they are everywhere."
"The gin is in the study's bathtub to look like water for emergencies," she remembers in the end.
220 words 1268 characters (off-location unauthorized to handle usa state dept docs)
graphic above c. nytimes the-passion-of-nicki-minaj