card-carriers of The:
Country Barns&Tocks [CBT] : refund taxes in cuckoo clocks or cows.
El Grande Snowpuffits [EGS]: set jimsonweed free.
Feline Nosehair Clipadores United [FNCU]: dry-freeze whale sperm.
OldLace&Pizzarias [OLP]: repeal the evil tax on parsley.
Orange Shimmy Shakes [OSS]: garter belts and silk stockings for every elk.
Pog Klug Zacios[PKZ]: monetize Esperanza globally.
Spandex Pants Unabasheds [SPU]: replace all mailboxes with bluebird-feeders.
Tartan Spray&Spays [TSS] : revive pleated skirts.
Tiny Tot Tomatoes [TTT]: self-serve grapefruit stands in each clothing shop.
Teeny Tike Tomatinos [ttt]: grated lettuce must be shoveled daily in Arizona and fined heavily in Ohio.
Religions [Rs]: central tenet
sissas and brethren of:
Bobby Sox 33s [BBBs]: shellacked edible-podded peas convey sanctity and protection for a car; pure black hair dispels satanic spirits in babies and wisteria.
Order of Garrulous Gadflees for Gnatly [GGG]: crying kills garden slugs.
Kale Kadishe Kleppers [KKKs]: petting oysters enrages barley to sour milk.
Bards to Lord of Lipschtick Lard [LLLs]: hair-cutting curdles salt-water reefs.
Nitey Nerds of Nasty [NNNs]: bees need [little] waterslides to polinate.
Olde Opibahfumnoxitig [OPIs]: mauve is poisonously contagious.
Stacking Snack Revival [SSR]: bleached pancakes with fake syrup are a devil's feast from waxed-out witches; eating twinkies caused the San Francisco earthquake.
Wasted Whackos of WoeBeGone [WWWs]: raisins cause shingles.
Zeroes of Zilch Assembly [ZZA]: windchimes of veneered edible-podded peas ward off dragons, and alligators.
(~236 words 1674 characters)